Do you know where the gangster Al Capone got his scar on his

cheek? Al "Scarface" Capone claimed he received the scar while

fighting with the Lost Battalion in France during World War I.

Actually, he was knifed in Brooklyn while working as a bouncer

in a saloon - in a fight over a woman. Capone never served in

World War I.

The peace symbol was created in 1958 as a nuclear disarmament

symbol by the Direct Action Committee, and it was first shown

that year at peace marches in England. The forked symbol is

actually a composite of the semaphore signals N and D

representing nuclear disarmament.

At least two people has been hit by a meteorite. In September

1954, Mrs. Hewlett Hodges of Sylacauga, Alabama, was hit by a

meteorite as she napped in her living room. The rock from space

weighed about 10 pounds. In the late 1930's, a Japanese girl was

also hit by a small meteorite.

William Penn, whose father once loaned a lot of money to the

King of England. Penn collected on this loan by accepting a huge

tract of land in America. Pennsylvania means "Penn's Woods."

================================

The Facts

1. Just by recycling one aluminum can, enough energy can be
saved to have a TV run for three hours.

2. In China, people eat a bar of chocolate for every 1,000
chocolate bars eaten by the British.

3. A house cat spends 70% of its time sleeping.

4. A women from Berlin Germany has had 3,110 gallstones taken
out of her gall bladder.

5. A cockroach can change directions up to 25 times in a second.

================================

I AM THANKFUL FOR ......
x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*

The partner who hogs the covers every night, because he/she is not out
with someone else.

The teenager who is not doing dishes but is watching tv, because that
means he/she is at home and not on the streets.

For the taxes that I pay, because it means that I, am employed.

For the mess to clean after a party, because it means that I have been
surrounded by friends.

For the clothes that fit a little too snug, because it means I have
enough to eat.

For my shadow that watches me work, because it means I, am in the
sunshine.

For a lawn that needs mowing, windows that need cleaning, and gutters
that need fixing, because it means I have a home.

For all the complaining I hear about the government, because it means
that we have freedom of speech.

For the parking spot I find at the far end of the parking lot, because
it means I am capable of walking and that I have been blessed with
transportation.

For my huge heating bill, because it means I, am warm.

For the lady behind me in church that sings off key, because it means
that I can hear.

For the pile of laundry and ironing, because it means I have clothes to
wear.

For weariness and aching muscles at the end of the day, because it means

I have been capable of working hard.

For the alarm that goes of in the early morning hours, because it means
that I am alive.

AND FINALLY.......

For too much e-mail, because it means I have friends who are thinking of

me.
===================================

One-Liners
-------------------
You can say whatever you want in this country.
No one listens anyway.

Professional carpet layers always manage to stretch
things somewhat.

If a magician's tricks were awful, perhaps the entire
audience would disappear.

Sign at a jewelry store: Why not come in, purchase a
diamond ring, and pay as you glow?

With all this pollution, your land may soon suffer
from domain poisoning.
==================================

Here's a Thought for the Day:

Irish Coffee is the perfect breakfast because it contains all four adult
food groups: fat, sugar, caffeine and alcohol.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

More Ways To Annoy a Baby Boomer
<><><><><><><><><>>>>>><<<<<<><><><><><><><><><><>

Ask them if they have found themselves yet.

Ask them why they let geeks on infomercials rip them off by selling them
music that they already have.

Graduate from Kent State. Join the National Guard.

Go to their favorite gourmet restaurant. Ask the people at the next
table what it takes to get some ketchup in a dump like this.

Point and laugh hysterically at people in BMWs. "Hey! What's it stand
for? Big Money Waste?"

Become a whitewater rafting "adventure guide." Smile and get paid absurd
amounts of money to soak Boomers literally and figuratively.

Simon and who?
==================================

Children's Letters To God
<><><><><><><><><>>>>>><<<<<<><><><><><><><><><><>

Dear God,

I didn't think orange went with purple until I saw the sunset you made
on Tuesday. That was cool!
- Eugene

Dear God,

Did you mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it an accident?
- Norma

Dear God,

Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don't You
just keep the ones you have now?
- Jane

<><><><><><><><><>>

Anti Stress Kit
--------------------------------
This is your Anti-Stress kit. I hope that these items will
help you to relax and enjoy your life more.

Rubber Band: To remind you to stretch your new ideas
and your mind to new limits so you will continue to grow
and reach your potential.

Tissue: To remind you to see the tears and needs of
others, including those of yourself and your peers.

Candy Kiss: To remind you that everyone needs a hug,
kiss, or a word of encouragement every day.

Life Saver: To remind you to think of your peers as your
"life savers." Care about each other and help each other
through the stressful times that occur in life.

Penny: To remind you the value of your thoughts - BIG
ones and little ones! Share them with others.

Eraser: To remind you that we all make mistakes and
with an eraser they can be erased, as can our human
mistakes be overcome.

Toothpick: To remind you to "pick out" the good qualities
in others and yourself and to be tolerant and accepting of
the differences of others.

Paper Clip: It's important to "keep it all together." Find
the balance in your physical, professional, and spiritual
life. Explore the resources and programs available to
you in the community.
=======================================

A women's lib speaker was addressing a large group and said,"Where would

man be today if it were not for woman?"

She paused a moment and looked around the room. "I repeat, where would
man be today if it were not for woman?"

From the back of the room came a voice, "He'd be in the Garden of Eden
eating strawberries."
=====================================

Thought for the Day:

"I think Little League (baseball) is wonderful. It keeps the
kids out of the house." - Yogi Berra

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Three girls all worked in the same office with the same female boss.
Each day, they noticed the boss left work early. One day, the girls
decided that, when the boss left, they would leave right behind her.

After all, she never called or came back to work, so how would she know
they went home early?

The brunette was thrilled to be home early. She did a little gardening,
spent playtime with her son, and went to bed early.

The redhead was elated to be able to get in a quick workout at the spa
before meeting a dinner date.

The blonde was happy to get home early and surprise her husband, but
when she got to her bedroom, she heard a muffled noise from inside.
Slowly and quietly, she cracked open the door and was mortified to see
her husband in bed with her boss!

Gently she closed the door and crept out of her house.

The next day, at their coffee break, the brunette and redhead planned to
leave early again, and they asked the blonde if she was going to go with
them.

"No way," the blonde exclaimed. "I almost got caught yesterday. '

<><><><><><><><><>>>>>><<<<

"Elderly people who frequently read, do crossword puzzles,
practice a musical instrument or play board games cut their
risk of Alzheimer's ... by nearly two thirds... researchers
reported in the New England Journal of Medicine."

Memorizing the Early Bird Dinner menu helps as well.
=================================

Thought for the Day:

There are some days I practice positive thinking, and other days I'm not
positive I am thinking.
--Dr John M. Eades
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wife: "Honey, I wish I was a newspaper, so I'd be in your hands all
day."

Husband: "I wish you were, too. I could have a new one everyday."
==================================

Timmy was a little five year old boy whose Mom loved him very much.
Being a worrier, she was concerned about his walking to school when he
started Kindergarten. She walked with him the first few days, but he
came home one day telling her he did not want her walking him to school
every day. He wanted to be like "big boys." He protested so loudly that
she had to find another way to handle it.

She asked her neighbor Nancy if she would surreptitiously follow her son
to school at a distance, but close enough to keep a watch on him. Nancy
said that, since she was up early with her toddler anyway, it would be a
good way for them to get some exercise so she agreed.

The next school day, Nancy and her little girl set out behind Timmy as
he walked to school with his friend Ronnie. This went on for a whole
week. Timmy's friend noticed that this same lady was following them
every day. Finally Ronnie asked Timmy,

"Have you noticed that lady following us all week? Do you know her?"

Timmy nonchalantly replied, "Yea, I know who she is."

Ronnie asked, "Well, who is she?"

"That's just Shirley Goodnest an' her little girl Marcy," Timmy said.

Ronnie inquired further, "Well, why does she follow us every day like
that?"

"Well," Timmy explained, "every night Momma makes me say the 23rd Psalm
with my prayers cuz she worries about me so much. And in it, the prayer
says, 'Shirley Goodnest and Marcy shall follow me all the days of my
life.' So, I guess I'll just have to get used to it."
------------------------------
The Facts

1. In 2002, dogs have killed more people in the U.S. than
Great White sharks have killed in the past 100 years.

2. The dragonfly has not changed over the last 300 million
years.

3. The most valuable painting made by a female artist is "In the
Box," painted by Mary Cassatt. It was sold for $3.67 million
at Christie's in New York City.

4. In the U.S. the most common excuse made to get out of paying
a ticket is to say they missed the sign.

5. A maple tree is usually tapped when the tree is at least 45
years old and has a diameter of 12 inches.
======================================

A bubble is round because the air within it presses equally

against all its parts, thus causing all surfaces to be

equidistant from its center.

More than 71 million gallons of water pass over Victoria Falls

in Africa every minute.

...that different species have different colors of blood? The

blood of mammals is red, the blood of insects is yellow, and the

blood of lobsters is blue?

...that Jack the Ripper’s throat-slashings of six prostitutes in

London's East End occurred between August and nearly November

1888, and that the identity of Jack the Ripper was never

verified?

=====================================

Did Ya' Know:
------------------------------------
Harley Earl, then head of GM's Special Projects crew,
was the auto designer behind the Corvette's introduction.

The Jaguar XK120 is supposedly the inspiration for
the Corvette.

Another American classic, the Thunderbird, is the rival
Ford's answer to the Corvette.

GM's Charles Wilson told the Senate armed services
committee, "For years I thought what was good for
country was good for General Motors, and vice versa.
The difference did not exist." Wilson became Eisenhower's
secretary of Defense.
======================================

A mother who was very proud of her daughter's achievements was telling
other mothers:
My daughter takes part in the School, in the Rushin' Ballet.

They all asked what does she do in the ballet.

She replied "She comes Rushin' in and goes Rushin' out".
======================================

One-Liners
-------------------
A diet is when you have to go to some length to change
your width.

You are drunk when you feel sophisticated but you are not
able to pronounce it.

I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to
be a vegetarian.

A bill collector came to my house the other day, so I gave
him a huge stack of old bills.

Funny, I don't remember being absent minded.
======================================

A two and a half year old walked into the bathroom while her mother was
putting on make-up. "I'm going to look just like you Mommy!" she
announced.

"Maybe, when you grow up," her mother told her.

"No Mommy, tomorrow. I just put on that 'Oil of Old Lady' you always
use."

<><><><><><><><><>>>>>><<<

The only reason I would take up jogging is so I could hear heavy
breathing again.
Erma Bombeck
===================================

I bet ya' didn't know
A tavern sign in Hamburg, Germany, made from the shoulder blade of a
whale gave the street on which it hangs its name, "The Street of the
Whale's Shoulder Blade."
------- ------ ------- --------
The Dalai Lama, ruler of Tibet, a prisoner of the Red Chinese in his
own palace, announced that he would escape on the afternoon of March
17, 1959. That afternoon, although Red Troops surrounded tha palace
and huge searchlights were trained on the building, the Dalai Lama
and 80 companions excaped under the cover of a sudden sandstorm.
=========================================

The kindergarten class had settled down to its coloring books.
Willie came up to the teacher's desk and said, "Miss Francis, I
ain't got no crayons."

"Willie," Miss Francis said, "you mean, "I don't have any
crayons.' You don't have any crayons. We don't have any
crayons. They don't have any crayons. Do you see what I'm
getting at?"

"Not really," Willie said, "What happened to all them crayons?"
==========================================

"Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like
shoveling the walk before it stops snowing."
- Phyllis Diller

"The nearest thing to immortality is this world is a government
bureau." - General Hugh S. Johnson

"I do not rule Russia; ten thousands clerks do."
- Nicholas I (1796-1855)

"Guidelines for Bureaucrats: (1) When in charge ponder.
(2) When in trouble delegate. (3) When in doubt mumble."
- James H. Boren

"The man who does not read good books has no advantage over
the man who can't read them." - Mark Twain
=======================================

A man was showing his friend a new set of matched golf clubs
he had just bought.

"Doctor's orders," the man told his friend. "My wife and I
have been gaining too much weight and we went to see the
doctor about it. He said we needed more exercise, so I joined
the country club and bought myself this set of golf clubs."

"What did you buy your wife?" the friend asked.

The man said, "A new matching bicycle and lawn mower,"
=========================================

One-Liners
-------------------
I've got a dog that growls, a parrot that swears, a
fireplace that smokes and a cat that stays out all
night. Why would I want a husband?

Hawaii! It's got everything! Sand for the children, sun
for the wife...sharks for the mother-in-law.

Sweets are the destiny that shapes our ends.

Difference between a virus and windows ? Viruses rarely fail!

I went to school to become a wit, only got halfway though.
===================================